Itchy Bonbons

scratch your head . . . itchybanquet.com
you can see?

you can see?

alone in there making people mad

When I went into the screening room I couldn’t tell how big it was.
How could anyone tell? Everything was black. There was a bench, so I sat down on it. Were there rows of benches behind me? It was dark; I couldn’t see. I just assumed there were. And that I was in someone’s way.

When the movie on the screen got lighter, and the room lit up, I saw that there was only one bench. And I was sitting on it by myself.

I leaned back, and I was leaning against a black wall.
It wasn’t a room, it was a box.
And I wasn’t in anyone’s way.

So what if I had been?

The movie didn’t mean anything.
It literally meant nothing. On purpose.
That’s the kind of movie it was.

I was all alone in there making people mad.
So what if they were mad?
They weren’t even real.

No Longer Together

No Longer Together

nevver:

“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”  — Flannery O’Connor (above, with self-portrait)

nevver:

“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor (above, with self-portrait)

Wedding

I hate questions like: what was the best moment of your life? Really, the peak moment when you felt like everything was exactly as it should be?

As soon as I answer, I am filled with remorse and an urge toward revision.

Wait, let me think. Not the night of my wedding, that wasn’t the best night of my life. It was a great night, but wait, there must have been a better night in there somewhere that I am forgetting. And remember that shitty thing that happened, at the wedding? I felt terrible about that. And then I was happy again five minutes later, happier than ever.

But I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t the VERY best night.

(I can think of a thousand worst nights ever but that wasn’t the question.)

When I got married I did not have bridesmaids. Why narrow it down? Friends all the time, all your life, everyday, everyone is different. For every occasion and in every setting. People. Friends. Why assign rankings?

Be yourself fearlessly. Ha ha ha! That is so funny.

I signed a marriage contract in a municipal hall in a city in northern Virginia. I did it willingly. My body was very much involved in the decision. Some shit got signed away on that day. Freedom, rights, possibilities. I was eager to make the trade. Something lost, something gained. That happens with every contract.

Best day

of my

life

Just let go of everything negative right now and shine from your authentic self. Just do it. Never give up trying. And don’t get frustrated when you fail. 

It’s not golf.

People who lose their arms and legs, or the use of their arms and legs, they still want to live. They go on living. Some other people, fortunate people who can walk and clap and run their fingers through their hair, are driving in their cars thinking, “I just don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to go on living.”
We may be generous, but we can’t give our arms and legs to people who don’t have them.

People who lose their arms and legs, or the use of their arms and legs, they still want to live. They go on living. Some other people, fortunate people who can walk and clap and run their fingers through their hair, are driving in their cars thinking, “I just don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to go on living.”

We may be generous, but we can’t give our arms and legs to people who don’t have them.

the brain should put a stop to self-destruction, because self-destruction doesn’t make sense. but the brain plays along, allows it, agrees, gives the final orders. which tells us something. about the brain.
*painting no. 61 by mark rothko

the brain should put a stop to self-destruction, because self-destruction doesn’t make sense. but the brain plays along, allows it, agrees, gives the final orders. which tells us something. about the brain.

*painting no. 61 by mark rothko